I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
