Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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