End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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