mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
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