Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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