spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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