His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I am naked and annoyed.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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