I will die if light touches me.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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