oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize