Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just puked most of my soul out..
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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