He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
