Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
