you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
