This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
