Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
