You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
