Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
