Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
