you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
