The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
