Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
