my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
