Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
