I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so let's talk penis.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I forget how to act sober
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
