Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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