My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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