I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
