The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
