I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
