I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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