I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
