I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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