love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
