I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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