Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
