if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
