1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm sobbing to NWA
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
