Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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