you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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