My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
