69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
