I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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