just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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