It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
