dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
