You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
They should really pass out barf bags in church
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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