How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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