I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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