I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
