woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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