i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
