I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
