I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
