can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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