I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
