We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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