im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
