Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
