Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's shark week go big or go home
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
