Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize