so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
That accounts for only three of the penises
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
