I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize