I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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