Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
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