Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize