Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
