just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize