yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
