I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
